Like Facebook, Twitter, and Donald Trump’s brain synapses, blogging imparts a belief that one’s thoughts are vital to the well-being of the planet. A vacation from blogging imparts an awareness that world events tend to continue with or without
During my hiatus from blogging, a president got re-elected, after both parties spent the equivalent of the entire world expenditure during the Renaissance. Fox News continued to broadcast election predictions from the alternate universe in which it resides. The voting district with the largest concentration of African-Americans in Prince William County, Virginia, authorized purchase of enough voting machines to allow its citizens to breeze through a five-hour wait in line. The local Republican party suggested solving the problem by arresting those in line for loitering.
Post-election frivolity included a lot of pissed off billionaires and conservatives who donated 400 million dollars Karl Rove’s Crossroads PAC, which backed a bunch of losing candidates. Rove, in a statement to his defense, blamed the same random freaks of nature that caused Hurricane Sandy for the candidates’ losses.
Hurricane Sandy was proof positive for many that the dire predictions of climate change causing extreme weather events are, indeed, manifest. Others continued to maintain that HS, along with all recent record-breaking weather events (as well as the suspicious disappearance of the Arctic ice shelf) in the past 20 years, are directly attributable to something Obama did or said or thought, but should in no way be chalked up to climate change or anything else that impacts on the need to continue to bludgeon the planet and its citizens in the quest for more natural resources.
A lot of celebs got married and a lot of celebs got divorced. A lot of celebs hooked up and a lot of celebs broke up. The number one reason cited for relationship failure was “crazy schedules.” The second most often cited reason was the existence of Karl Rove.
A Chinese man was awarded 750,000 Yuan ($150,000) after suing his wife for being “ugly”. Jian Feng divorced his wife and sued her after she gave birth to an “incredibly ugly” baby, which led to him accusing his other half of cheating on him. Mrs Feng (or, as her husband refers to her, Mrs Fang) told her husband she had spent over $100,000 on plastic surgery before meeting him. The court ruled in his favor after he claimed he had been deceived and that she got him to marry her under false pretenses. Neither Karl Rove nor Barak Obama were implicated in any way in this case.
And, finally, for those of you who need to hear your words in William Shatner’s voice, there is now “Shatoetry,” is the official William Shatner app. “Shatoetry lets you arrange words to compose sentences, statements, phrases, messages… and hear William Shatner perform them for you. You can save the Shatisms you create, send them to your friends by email, and share them through social media. You can team up with other Shatoetists through GameCenter and co-create with your friends online. Or pass it around the room to take turns Shatoetizing with that person next to you.” For an additional $.99, you can rub your iPhone all over your private parts and hear William Shatner’s voice saying “Oooh baby, that’s right, uh huh, you make me so hot, oh yeah.”
Stay tuned for antics from the fiscal cliff.