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Musings of a former hula hoop champion
Browsing All Posts filed under »politics«
Alienation
November 28, 2012
World events have been happening so quickly in the past week that, midway through my consumption of a sweet potato and marshmallow casserole, I seriously considered blowing off the Post-Thanksgiving-Held-on-Actual-Thanksgiving Midnight Madness at the local Walmart in order to track events as they were unfolding. We shall begin with a discovery beneath the […]
Fiscal Cliff Diving
November 15, 2012
In an attempt to educate everyone about the impending “fiscal cliff,” this blogger has done some serious research, taking breaks only to consume half a large can of salted cashews. Q. What is the fiscal cliff? This is a good question, especially since the words “fiscal” and “cliff” are usually associated with events having extremely dire […]
A Short Phone Conversation Between Mitt Romney and the IRS
September 26, 2012
This is the IRS, where our motto is “We will hold off your death, until you have paid your taxes.” Uh, hi. Hey, are you aware that I have been on hold for about two hours? I would ask you what your point was but it wouldn’t matter. How can I help you? Uh, yeah, […]
My Uterus, Myself
August 26, 2012
Todd Akin, when he isn’t advocating for an audit of the Federal Reserve System, has become a spokesperson for a return to medieval notions of women and fertility. It’s time to look at the belief system from which he obtains his knowledge about women’s bodies. And what better way to do this than to go […]
Obamacare, and the Right to Order Extra Cheese
August 8, 2012
While most of the general population of the country has been occupied with the Mars landing, the Olympics, the longest presidential run in history, and learning to do the steps to the pasa doble, a disaster has been in the making. Papa Johns, the third largest pizza takeout and delivery company in the country, has been […]
Really Important Stuff That Happened When I Was Gone
June 20, 2012
Because the sum total of the money I have made from blogging approximates that of the current Greek GNP, and because I like to engage in frivolous activities like paying the mortgage, I decided to focus on my real estate career for a while, instead of on my keyboard. Stepping back from blogging for a […]
Hillary Clinton: Face Off
May 10, 2012
Hillary Clinton, in an event generating even more negative feedback than her 1993 national health care debacle, has appeared in public with minimal makeup, glasses, and au natural hair. The shocking occurrence took place during an official event in Bangladesh, part of her current diplomatic tour throughout Asia. In an act that brazenly flaunted common […]
Middle Age vs The Middle Ages
February 22, 2012
Many people nowadays confuse being middle aged with being in the Middle Ages. They can be forgiven for a certain amount of confusion, since neither group of people had births recorded on iPhones and immediately posted on social media networks around the planet. Neither group grew up with Tickle Me Elmo and Teenage Mutant Ninja […]
Secret Handbook for Politicians Discovered
November 3, 2010
A secret “Politician’s Handbook” has been discovered in a cave not far from where the Dead Sea Scrolls were discovered. If you don’t believe me, look it up. Here is an excerpt from p.359: 1. If something good happens and your party is in power, take full credit and appear on Rachel Ray. Take home […]
Boomer Breasts and the State of the Planet
November 30, 2012
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Boomer breasts, while going about their daily business in relative obscurity, have nonetheless unwittingly become symbols of the general state of our world. The Breaking up of the Polar Ice Caps: The southward journey of the Boomer breast is symbolic of the sinking of the polar ice caps, but because it is located in a […]