Browsing All Posts filed under »satire«

How to Collect Social Security for 55 Years

May 17, 2013

25

The cover of the May issue of National Geographic shows a baby with the caption, “This Baby Will Live to be 120.” Inside the magazine is the article, titled “On Beyond 100.” Before diving headfirst into the article, Life in the Boomer Lane suspected it would be about the continuing rampant production of old people […]

Latest Weapon of Mass Destruction: The Throw Pillow

April 28, 2013

48

Having had such a swell time with my recent trip to the ER, I decided to arrange for another life threatening adventure. Since I had been caring for my one-and-a-half year old and three-and-a-half year old grandsons, all scary and deadly items had been safely stored away.  So I had to get creative. Calling upon […]

Sex at 50+ : What’s Normal?

March 9, 2013

37

In its March 2013 issue, AARP Magazine presents “Sex at 50+: What’s Normal?” in which they answer our burning curiosity about other people’s sex lives. A heads up (in a manner of speaking): If you routinely incorporate the Area 51 Love Doll, the Strict Leather Dildo Face Harness, or the Drilldo into your sexual repertoire, […]

Why Older Men Prefer Younger Women. Or Don’t.

March 5, 2013

41

On January 7, 2011, I posted a piece titled “The Myth of Older Men Wanting Younger Women.” I said that, in spite of the common belief that all older men are chasing after younger women, my experience has been otherwise. The response was instant and strong. On both sides of the aisle. On February 28, […]

Time on My Mind

February 25, 2013

47

It is commonly acknowledged that an hour spent in the dentist’s chair is not equal to an hour spent watching football.  An hour spent on the phone with technical support is not equal to an hour spent at a great sale where everything fits you perfectly and you have mysteriously gone down two sizes (Forget […]

The Wiggles:A Guest Post by Nancy Roman

February 22, 2013

13

Nancy is the author of a blog called, NotQuiteOld, which is sort of how everyone of a certain age feels because old is something that those “other” people are, not us.  Old is like 20 years away.  Always. Right?  Right.  But it’s that pesky “notquiteold” dimension that we exist in that keeps reminding us that we may be notquiteold, […]

Sex and the Sixty-Year-Old: A Few Quickies for Valentine’s Day

February 12, 2013

39

  For those of you who were starting think that my friend Susan had extricated herself from the maws of online dating, rest assured that she has only taken a small step back and has managed to keep her fingers mostly intact. She has had several email and phone conversations, only one of which has […]

Hmmm…Aren’t You Forgetting Something?, a guest post by Mrs. Cap’n Firepants

February 7, 2013

17

 Mrs. Cap’n Firepants,  (which might rival Dr Seuss for Most Memorable Pen Name)  writes that she is ”the distinguished authoress of the blog, What I Meant 2 Say.”   She also writes that “she completely defied aging until about two years ago – when she acquired the infamous and extremely destructive bulldog, Wonderbutt. Now, her wrinkles outnumber the dog’s. […]

Sex and the Sixty-Year-Old: Evolution Has Come to This

January 26, 2013

62

It’s believed that humans originated about 200,000 years ago in the Middle Paleolithic period.  According to Wikipedia, they began to experience “full behavioral modernity” about 50,000 years ago. Susan, in joining a new dating site, has apparently discovered a pool of Homo Sapiens Sapiens who managed to avoid the shift to full behavioral modernity.  Fortunately, I’m […]

Woman Drives 900 Miles Out of Her Way After GPS Error

January 16, 2013

29

When this blogger saw the above headline on Yahoo News, she was sure the article was written about her.  But a quick check of her surroundings informed her that she was, as usual, seated in front of her laptop, wearing her pajamas.  She breathed a sigh of relief and wrote the following in response to […]

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 3,870 other followers