The cover story of the October 24 issue of US Magazine is an interview titled “My Night With Ashton,” in which 22 year old Sara Leal claims she had sex with Ashton Kutcher (actor, celeb, camera monger) on the night of his sixth wedding anniversary to Demi Moore (actress, celeb) The US reporter asks Leal some hard-hitting questions, mostly the kind one would ask someone who was still coming out of anesthesia. Leal answers, mostly with the word “like.”
Leal “met” Kutcher at a party in his San Diego Hard Rock Hotel room. In describing the magical moment at the party that told her she was in for a night of True Love, Leal says “We kissed in the bathroom and he was like ‘You’re the only girl in there that I want.’” She didn’t elaborate whether the phrase “in there” referred to the people in the hotel room or in the shower stall.
Later, in Kutcher’s bedroom she said, “(Ashton) was rubbing my leg, and he asked my friend, ‘Would you be comfortable rubbing Sara’s leg? And she was, like, ‘Yes.’ Then he started asking us weird questions…My friend was like ‘That’s kind of private! And he was like ‘It’s a legitimate question.’ …I was like…”
According to Leal, they had sex twice, then lay in bed and became post-coital soul mates, as only people can who are completely drunk and whose combined IQs approximate the number of Republican Presidential hopefuls. After covering horoscopes (“He’s an Aquarius too, so he talked about our traits”), religion (“I told him I was religious”), love (“I believe in love, but not really”) and politics (Rick Perry will be gratified to know that he was the only Republican hopeful mentioned)
Lest some might find a slight inconsistency in Leal’s profession of being religious and her hopping into the sack with a married man (albeit a hot rich celeb married man,) she explains that at the party, Kutcher said he was separated (He wasn’t). The US reporter, having little respect for Leal’s anemic excuses, asked her if she found out later that Kutcher was, indeed, married. Leal explained, “I saw pictures of him and Demi and I thought, Is that real? I just feel like it’s La La Land made up stuff…” But, just in case, she shut down her laptop. (She was later heard to explain that her belief that the earth was flat was, in a similar fashion, tested , when she saw photos of a round earth online. In that case, she also shut down her laptop.)
Leal admits to only one brief dark cloud that settled over the lovers’ heads. This was when she and Kutcher wrestled over her phone (He won). Kutcher checked her phone to see the text messages she had sent out regarding their whirlwind love. “We were fighting for my phone…He just said flat-out “See, this is stuff I can’t have happen.’”
The US reporter asked Leal if Kutcher’s checking her cell phone wasn’t like locking the barn door after the horses ran out. Leal pondered this question for several minutes, then responded:
“There were horses in the bedroom? Wow, so that’s why I thought Ashton was like so good in the sack.”
Life in the Boomer Lane 
k8edid
October 16, 2011
“…whose combined IQs approximate the number of Republican Presidential hopefuls..”
I think you gave them too much credit.
lifeintheboomerlane
October 16, 2011
I think you’re right.
nrhatch
October 16, 2011
I saw a great t-shirt yesterday: “I’m allergic to stupid people.”
I am sneezing my ass off! 😆
lifeintheboomerlane
October 16, 2011
I am giving you a tissue.
Vonnie
October 16, 2011
Do you realize how much money could be made on the selling of those t-shirts? I have at least 15 people in my life RIGHT NOW that would buy them!
K.L.Richardson
October 16, 2011
After going through a horrid divorce caused by a blonde bimbo much like this one I have conflicting emotions. Anger at the bimbo and at Ashton, sadness for Demi (and myself) but mostly after a few years have passed an overwhelming feeling of …meh…another marriage bites the dust. It’s sad to come to that, and perhaps it’s self-preservation, but we hear so much of this, that (to me at least) it has become a non-issue. But I do have to wonder what Bimbo is going to do when her boobs are no longer perky, and her stupidity is no longer “cute”.
lifeintheboomerlane
October 16, 2011
The world of celebs is like what happens in the real world, but at a much faster and more visible pace. It’s like the worst of life placed under a magnifying glass. And Leal represents another aspect that is so sad. These girls who hang onto the fringes of the world of celebs have a short shelf life, indeed.
K.L.Richardson
October 17, 2011
True dat! I often said to my friends that if my divorce took place in a celebrity fishbowl that I would have had my mug shot on the 11:00 o clock news. In fact, it’s sort of a joke now if something doesn’t go our way we all say “Film at 11:00”!
Vonnie
October 16, 2011
I am so sorry you experienced the tragedy of divorce. I did too but not because of a specific bimbo. Mine was torn apart by thousands of blondes, redheads, and brunettes as the result of the porn industry.
I feel for you and for Demi (who is suffering in her own hell right now, with alcohol addiction). I am sorry to hear that Ashton has no more strength of character than that! He has so much talent, but without a strong connection to the Divine, he is just plain a target for temptation presented in the form of big busted bimbo blondes like this one! Don’t these guys see it coming? Or do they think their armor is particularly deflecting?
K.L.Richardson
October 17, 2011
I never used to believe that old saying “That which doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.” But after five years I have to say I am much stronger than I ever was. I really embrace what happened as part of my learning process.
notquiteold
October 16, 2011
Just when you think that all celebrities are stupid, you find that they are geniuses compared to the people who have sex with them.
lifeintheboomerlane
October 16, 2011
I can’t improve on that comment in any way.
Lisa (Woman Wielding Words)
October 16, 2011
I walked out of the grocery store the other day after my traditional guilty-pleasure dose of reading the headlines at the check-out stand, and announced to Nathan and Steve that I had figured out what I was going to do with my life. “I’m going to have an affair with a famous celebrity, ruin their marriage, and then get accused of murder but found not guilty. Afterwords I will make millions of dollars on the book telling all the sordid details.” They thought it was a good idea. 😉
lifeintheboomerlane
October 16, 2011
If you figure out how to do it, let me know.
Vonnie
October 16, 2011
These STUPID girls are a horrible through back to all that the feminist movement has done to improve upon our place and our options in a world still controlled by males. Until we as women can raise daughters that see this as demeaning and without any value to any of us or the world at large.
Mothers, we have our work cut out for us. Those of us who have raised our daughters need to “instruct the younger women” in how to raise theirs in this screwed up world we live in. We cannot sit back with the attitude “my job is done!” Our job is not done until there are no more GIRLS GONE WILD! No more girls baring their breasts to the cameras and waiting around to have sex with some celebrity–political, golf, basketball, football, baseball, soccer, tv, movies, music, Nascar, horse racing, snow boarding, or any one else that attracts the attention of the media!
lifeintheboomerlane
October 16, 2011
Thanks, Vonnie. You’ve just about said it all. I keep coming back to something said by Nicholas Kristof in his book Half the Sky. He says that throughout the world, women are our greatest underutilized resource. And that applies just as much to women in this country who throw their power away as it does to the millions of women throughout the world who are denied their power.
Lafemmeroar
October 16, 2011
Her parents must be so “proud” of her actions. She can FB and Tweet all she wants and all it proves is that she’s a true “twit” that just got used.
lifeintheboomerlane
October 16, 2011
If she sees anything negative Tweeted about her, she can always shut down her laptop or turn off her phone. Sigh.
daeja's view
October 16, 2011
i just thought the same thing. 🙂
i had to laugh at this post, but the whole situation is rather pathetic.
dramaqueen1913
October 16, 2011
Keep trying to type something but everybody else already said it.
So, *headnodz*
My Inner Chick
October 16, 2011
—Dear, Boomer,
you always get my blood boiling.
This chick gives ALL woman a bad name. What a stupid, ignorant fool. I’d tell her to shut her big fat mouth!
“I told him I was religious” — Are you serious?
Then she goes on to screw a married man?
What a damn Joke….
lifeintheboomerlane
October 16, 2011
Ah, but throughout the ages, those who define themselves as “religious” or “moral,” have done heinous things, sometimes even in the name of religion. I don’t think she falls into that category, though. I think in her case, she has no more idea of what it means to be religious than she does anything else outside of her narrow world. It’s really sad.
Claire Takacs
October 16, 2011
LOL!!! – Oh Renée – that was “like” very funny. Thank you for the jovial start to my morning
You’ve got talent, girl 🙂
lifeintheboomerlane
October 17, 2011
Hey, thanks Claire, and thanks for visiting Life in the Boomer Lane.
Lynn Schneider
October 16, 2011
I thought your post was, like, hilarious. People like Leal are mostly like Martians to us boomers. I don’t get it. Yeah, she gets her five minutes of fame, but at what price? What a moron. Anyway, I enjoyed this!
lifeintheboomerlane
October 17, 2011
Like, thanks Lynn!
Kathryn McCullough
October 17, 2011
I like really like the line that like their combined IQ points were like somewhere close to the like number of Republicans like wanting to be like president. That’s like too funny!
Kathy
lifeintheboomerlane
October 17, 2011
Of course, if any more Pubs have declared, I might have to strike that sentence.
She's a Maineiac
October 17, 2011
Just a sad story all around. Looks like he’s taken Charlie Sheen’s persona to heart. It’s almost a cliche now to have casual sex with a blonde bimbo and then have it exposed through texting. Can’t these celebrities spice things up a bit and actually stay loyal to their spouses?
lifeintheboomerlane
October 17, 2011
And it’s also sad that Kutcher, if nothing more than in retrospect, is at least aware of what he has to lose. Leal, on the other hand, is clueless about herself.
Deborah the Closet Monster
October 17, 2011
My “guilty pleasure” suddenly feels all “guilt,” no “pleasure.”
Do I read that crap willingly? When I do buy a magazine 5-6 times a year, do I really buy that?
The answer is “yes.” But having admitted it is half the battle. And, um, having seen an article in it broken down by you.
😀
lifeintheboomerlane
October 17, 2011
I read these mags on the treadmill at the gym, mostly ones others have been left there. If I try to read them at any other time, I experience the same symtoms as when I consume vast quantities of sugar and fat. But I do think this one might have been the most inane.
K.L.Richardson
October 17, 2011
I too indulge in that “guilty pleasure”, but I wait until it is time for my 6 week root touch up! Then while I get the gray done, I rot a few gray cells courtesy of my hair salon.
ifiwerebraveblog
October 17, 2011
I tried to find something clever to say, but I can’t stop laughing hysterically.
pegoleg
October 17, 2011
Well written with your usually deft, comic touch, Renee. But this just depresses me. How did we get to this place where young women WANT to be publicly branded as sluts? As the mother of daughters I find it too, too sad.
lifeintheboomerlane
October 17, 2011
I honestly thought long and hard (no pun intended) about posting this. There is so much that has gone awry with our society. As I commented to Vonnie, it’s so sad when young women in this country throw their power away, while women in so many other places in the world are denied theirs.
Anointed Women in Christ Blog
October 20, 2011
So…she didn’t know he was married??? Right…………………
Allison
October 24, 2011
Ugh, I experienced a ‘People’ relapse while at the hotel gym this week (in my defense, my book didn’t fit on the treadmill’s reading thingie…and there were three ‘People’ magazines screaming my name that did fit on the reading thingie). Anyhow, I now know more about Ashton and Demi than I ever wanted to know. But People didn’t really take me into the mindset of the other woman. Thank you for adding Sara’s perspective…and in a much more interesting (and factual) way than People covered Demi’s and Ashton’s perspectives (quoting unnamed friends)! You’re hilarious, as always.
lifeintheboomerlane
October 24, 2011
I don’t believe for one second your story about your book not fitting on the treadmill thingy (which, by the way, is the technical term for that). I’ve used that excuse myself on occasion.
Judith
October 26, 2011
Just catching up on my reading but blogs not People.
I think our local primary school should employ Sarah she has such a great way with words. And oh like she didn’t know he was married. Obviously doesn’t read People.
lifeintheboomerlane
October 27, 2011
She just sort of missed the one million articles that have been posted about Demi and Ashton.
ryoko861
October 27, 2011
Like, you know, these Hollywood stars, like, have way too much money and they, like, have this idea that they can, like, just do any woman they want, like, don’t they know they’ll get caught?
lifeintheboomerlane
October 27, 2011
Uh, like No.