For those Boomers who were too young in the hippie era to have grabbed their love beads, leapt into a VW van and headed to the nearest commune, or, for those Boomers who were intrigued with the idea of communes but not the reality, take heart: There is a housing revolution in the making, spearheaded by Boomers in their 50s and 60s.
If the notion of staying in your big house until you fall down the stairs and end up in a nursing home is your idea of life planning, or, if you see yourself moving from home to condo to a small room in an assisted living facility to a furnished walnut shell, you might not be interested in this. But if you like your own space, and, if you love your grandchildren but would rather be surrounded by people who travel on something other than skateboards, listen up: The era of cohousing is upon us.
There is a movie that opened on Friday. The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel. Take a crumbling, grand hotel in Jaipur, India. Populate it with a group of fabulous, slightly (or more-than-slightly) eccentric older English actors who came from the UK to inhabit the place, sharing dining space, friendship, joys, sorrows, and love. Make no mistake. Clean the place up, bring it to the US, substitute Judi Dench with Ethel from Ohio, and this is one form of cohousing, plain and simple.
Cohousing communities offer some combination of independent living space and communal living. The communal area can be a full kitchen/dining room or just a family room where people can gather when they please. Sometimes, people who know each other already will create a cohousing community. Other times, people buy into cohousing without knowing much about anyone else, other than that their neighbors will most likely appreciate NPR, Spanx, and face-to-face conversations.
One version of cohousing, the pocket community, is especially popular in the Pacific Northwest. A developer buys land suitable for four homes and creates eight. Homes are usually vintage-style, have front porches, low fences, and small front yards. Each house is separate but all homes lead to a common outdoor area. Access to each home is through the common space. The plan brings people together, encouraging both friendship and safety.
In The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel film, all the residents of the hotel had to do was step outside the front door and would be in the middle of a large, teeming city. While most cohousing isn’t in areas as dense as New York, Chicago, or Jaipur, many are set in walking neighborhoods in urban areas, as opposed to suburbs. Most things you could want would be within easy walking distance, and, unlike The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel film, the area surrounding your residence would have sidewalks, traffic lights and Starbucks on every corner. So you can have your little enclave, yet walk to shops, restaurants, and entertainment.
Take a couple minutes and research cohousing. Then take a couple hours and go see The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel. You’ll enjoy both.
Life in the Boomer Lane 
mimijk
May 7, 2012
Saw the movie on Saturday and loved it!! We don’t have these types of communities yet in and around Washington, DC, but they sure sound appealing!
Life in the Boomer Lane
May 7, 2012
I live in Arlington, and I know there is talk of it. People in Falls Church are meeting about having cohousing there.
mimijk
May 7, 2012
See? That’s what happens when you’re out in Vienna – you’re never in-the-know! 😉
Life in the Boomer Lane
May 7, 2012
We are so sophisticated, close in.
The Diva (@TheDivaofDating)
May 7, 2012
I can’t wait to see the movie, but I’m less enthused about the idea of communal living. I think I’d be too crotchety to deal with eccentric old people!
Life in the Boomer Lane
May 7, 2012
It’s certainly not for everybody, but the communities where people have separate houses and simply have access to communal outdoor space is appealling.
Kathryn McCullough
May 7, 2012
Gosh, this is a great idea, Renee. I’d never even heard of co-housing, but it sounds like something that would suit Sara and me well. And thanks for recommending the movie! Sounds fun!
Hugs,
Kathy
Life in the Boomer Lane
May 7, 2012
You will ove the movie!
omawarisan
May 7, 2012
I’ll have to find the movie. I’m closing in on retirement and my second life. A new way of living would be nice too!
Life in the Boomer Lane
May 7, 2012
The movie is really good, Oma. And I do think the whole cohousing movement is exciting.
Sienna (@datingseniormen)
May 7, 2012
I am way too young to contemplate this sort of thing. What’s a face-to-face conversation?
Life in the Boomer Lane
May 7, 2012
Sadly, more and more people would ask that very question.
Lynne Spreen
May 7, 2012
I live in a 55 + community and I think you could see it as a giant commune. We all have our own little houses but we have company as close as the community center. If you need privacy you can have it but if you want company that’s available too. We also go outside the gates – its not like we’re isolated. I like living here better than about anywhere.
Life in the Boomer Lane
May 7, 2012
It has only been in the past few years that I have begun to see the benefit of over-55 communities (not all, but some). When I go out at night sometimes in DC, I look around and everyone looks younger than my kids. I want to ask, “Does your mother know you are out so late?”
Betty Londergan
May 7, 2012
I can’t WAIT to see the movie, on your recommendation alone (and Judi Dench). As for the co-housing idea … I’m not sure. I’m fairly persnickety (okay, totally anal-retentive) about my living space so maybe that’s not such a good idea (for my co-housing mates). You are always a font of new ideas, Renee… could YOU and Now Husband live in one??
Life in the Boomer Lane
May 7, 2012
I could live in the kind of community where all the houses were separate and we shared a common outdoor area, or even a pod-type design where everyone had a separate space but there was a common family room setting for joint gatherings. I’m not ready to sell my house yet, but these are more appealling to me than moving into a condo.
Audubon Ron
May 7, 2012
Thanks but not for me. That is why I live at the Ducks Mahal hermitage.
Life in the Boomer Lane
May 7, 2012
How about a communal hermitage?
K.L.Richardson
May 7, 2012
Yeah, uh no, I like my personal freedom to houseclean nude if I wish. Think I will just stay in my own place as long as I am able.
Life in the Boomer Lane
May 7, 2012
Clothing optional cohousing?
K.L.Richardson
May 7, 2012
At this age I don’t even like the cat to see me that way! And now you’ve gone and made me visualize some of my friends naked…lordy I need a drink!
Gayane
May 7, 2012
I like the idea in theory. I had suggested something similar to my parents years ago, they had many friends here in town of the same age. My idea was that they should all live in the same big house and pool in to get housekeeping services and if necessary, get nursing services later on. They were against it, offended even, said how could I suggest something like that..and besides, they said they would probably start bickering with each other after a while….but your description sounds more doable and I could consider it at some point. Oh and the movie is great indeed!
Life in the Boomer Lane
May 7, 2012
Jean, Joyce and I talked about this once. I think it would be a cool idea for friends to do, as long as people had independant living spaces. Then you could choose to be alone or to be in the communal area.
speaker7
May 7, 2012
I think this is kinda how it should be for everything, like the whole it-takes-a-village mantra because then you actually give a damn about people and it’s harder to say things like “yeah, cut social security” or “yeah, lease my land for gas drilling” because you actually know your neighbor.
Life in the Boomer Lane
May 8, 2012
If only it were possible, right?
gojulesgo
May 7, 2012
How cool! And I agree with one of your comment replies, that it definitely seems more appealing than a condo. Although I really like my privacy. (Even though everyone knows I’m just using it to drink vodka and watch The Long Island Medium. …And then there’s the karaoke. No neighbor should ever have to hear that.)
Life in the Boomer Lane
May 8, 2012
Privacy when you want, communal living when you don’t. And no one coming to your door when you are not wearing a bra. Unless, of course, you want them to.
Kim
May 7, 2012
Actually there is a co-housing development in Takoma Park, MD (of course, where else?). It’s been there quite a while. I have a friend who moved there and is really into the whole co-housing thing. I sort of like the idea. Depends on who one had to live with. Actually I think I like the idea of the mafia style family compounds. I could live in one of those with my family members in the othe houses. Particularly my grandson whom I can’t ever get enough of! Would save running over to my elderly parents house all the time to check on them. Hmmm, maybe the new ‘co-housing’ is mafia style compounds!
Kim
pegoleg
May 8, 2012
This sounds like a really great idea! We can have our elderly nearby to take care of, and little kids to keep us young.
Life in the Boomer Lane
May 8, 2012
I think cohousing is the wave of the future. But I said the same thing about Beta, so I could be wrong.
pegoleg
May 8, 2012
Is that a picture of the Renee Compound?
Life in the Boomer Lane
May 8, 2012
Yes, Tacoma Park does sound like the perfect place to have that. Cohousing Mafia-style. Something to think about.
goodoldgirl
May 7, 2012
I live in a condo community that’s all townhouses and cottages. I’m not wild about it but will stay until retirement then will find a small house. My only gripes, aside from the association fee, are that I don’t have enough outside space to call my own, there’s no yard for a dog, and I’m not wild about the “association” telling me what I can and can’t do with what little outside space I have.
A commune has a some appeal, though, if I own it and have veto power. I guess I’m too much of a control freak to have it any other way.
Life in the Boomer Lane
May 8, 2012
I do like the models with small, individual lots, and a large lot for communal gatherings. But I don’t have a dog. Maybe dog parks attached?
ForkYes!
May 8, 2012
I really like this idea for hopefully the quite distant future. Nursing and old folks homes never had much appeal for me, but my grandmother in Summerville, SC had a cottage that was linked to a nursing home, as if the cottage were a home in a private subdivision. It was actually a really nice place.
Life in the Boomer Lane
May 8, 2012
A cottage linked to a nursing home sounds good. In my head, I keep designing living arrangements that would suit seniors but have them stay in the middle of where everything is happening, communities that would also run daycare and nursery school facilities and have a building that would serve as community theater for those outside the comples as well. So the layout would suit seniors but the greater community would benefit.
ForkYes!
May 10, 2012
Seems great, too, for seniors who might wind up caring for their children’s children. Shoot, if I ever have kids I’d like that idea…hey, Mom? What’s showing at the old folks’ theater tonight? I’m dropping the kids off…
georgettesullins
May 8, 2012
My grandparents had a huge house where they raised their five children. They rented out rooms for visitors to their city. My mother, aunts and uncles talked about Mr., Miss and Mrs. so-and-so for years after they gave it up. They met some very interesting people. Thank you for the movie recommendation.
Life in the Boomer Lane
May 8, 2012
You are welcome! Cool idea your parents had, to house visitors to their city.
nrhatch
May 8, 2012
The movie got added to my Netflix queue the minute I heard about it . . . looking forward to seeing it. What a terrific cast.
Intentional Communities make so much sense . . . multi-generational, or not. Our villa here is 1/2-way between condo and co-housing. Owners all have our own places & spaces, but there is LOTS of shared space as well ~ pools, trails, tennis, lakes, activity center, gym, etc.
And the front gate provides additional security and safety for walkers and bikers.
Life in the Boomer Lane
May 8, 2012
Let me know what you think of the film. Methinks there will be a post in the works.
Geraldine
May 9, 2012
what a great idea! you are a wonderful writer. glad I stopped by via Not Quite Old.
Life in the Boomer Lane
May 9, 2012
Thank you. I’m honored!
Erick
May 9, 2012
People often use the imagery of communes and hippy-culture to describe cohousing. The problem is that, as is often the case with new or unfamiliar ideas, related concepts get used loosely to describe it. Cohousing gets labeled as a commune, socialist, liberal, pretentious, radical, half-baked, and hippy among a plethora of other things. These are unfortunate and unfair connotations, which cohousing groups still manage to overcome through outreach and campaigning from a grassroots level to dispel misconceptions and prejudices.
I’ve visited many cohousing neighborhoods in California, senior and intergenerational. They are, at the very most, the refined synonym for hippy: counter-culture. Visit a cohousing group and you won’t find the drugs or symbolism of the 60’s, rather you’ll meet a group of people, neighbors, who are trying to live sustainably, socially, respectfully, and economically through proximity. Bucking the trend – they don’t want suburbs and they don’t want isolation.
Remember the Golden Rule (do unto others…)? Apply it toward your neighbors, add your role in designing your fully equipped private home and socially connected neighborhood, and you have cohousing. We age physically and we grow personally, thus we need a support network and an environment that balances and engages our private and social selves. Cohousing does that – well.
Check out Creating Cohousing: Building Sustainable Communities, by Kathryn McCamant and Charles Durrett and The Senior Cohousing Handbook: A Community Approach to Independent Living, authored by Charles as well. Below are links to the books as well as Chuck and Katie’s company website. Check out their projects; they are really building old-fashion neighborhoods.
http://www.newsociety.com/Contributors/D/Durrett-Charles
http://www.cohousingco.com
Thanks for the article 🙂
Life in the Boomer Lane
May 9, 2012
Thanks so much for commenting, Erick. I’m a realtor and I’ve been intrigued with the idea of cohousing from the moment I heard about it. In a world that fragments communities and isolates people, cohousing builds communities and brings people together. And the idea of cohousing for those over age 50 is very excitng.
benzeknees
May 11, 2012
Hubby & I moved into a condo a year ago (we are renting it though) because he was tired of cutting grass & shovelling snow & I couldn’t do stairs for the laundry (due to severe debilitating vertigo). We love the place we live in, but hate the building & so are considering another move. I would love to move into a co-housing type of place (for adults only). This building was advertised as adults only, but is full of kids & neither of us is into listening to their antics anymore. Can’t wait to see the movie too!
Life in the Boomer Lane
May 15, 2012
I love that there are variations of cohousing. Adults only, over 55s, and ones with all ages.
morristownmemos by Ronnie Hammer
May 12, 2012
One of my favorite lines in the movie was, “everything will turn out alright in the end. if everything doesn’t turn out alright, it’s not the end.”
Life in the Boomer Lane
May 15, 2012
It was a great line, wasn’t it? That film is in my head now.
Alaina Mabaso
May 14, 2012
Sounds like a great idea. We’re all used to co-housing for young folks, especially as people put off or discard the traditional marriage/family unit track – why not old folks? My grandfather lives in a retirement village that I could see as co-housing – separate apartments, but residents gather frequently in the lounges and dining rooms and they’re always having cocktails and playing bride in each other’s apartments. Most people there seem to live well into their nineties. I think it’s because they’re all so happy.
Life in the Boomer Lane
May 15, 2012
All variations of cohousing have benefit. And some are open to all ages. Those remind me of how people used to live, with all generations together.
Alaina Mabaso
May 15, 2012
Yes – I think it’s kind of sad that the definition of normal family life in America is two parents and their kids in a single household. Grandparents or adult children or other family members or friends hanging around is cast as an abnormal arrangement, possibly the result of world financial troubles but not preferable to how things should be, with everyone sequestered in their own houses.